santa is fuckin bad ass

so logan has gotten into swords because a certain uncle has some hanging from his walls and he thinks they're pretty awesome. which they are. and he has been asking for one for xmas. however i had not gone looking for anything like this so a trip to a few stores proved to be a let down. there are some out there. and some are bad ass....LOOKING but not in construction. they have loose handles and wobble when you wave them at the store clerk.

you have to keep in mind, he's 10 and while hanging them from the wall on display is a good idea, what he really wants to do is hack some fuckin shit up. i mean if there were a stray dog or cat or bunny runnin the neighborhood, i could see him goin after the poor bastard like a scene from LOTR (thats lord of the rings for those of you who arent in the know) i wasnt....dont feel bad.

so the point is, this thing must first and foremost be of superior construction. he is gonna swing it around in his room and probably break some shit and potentially hurt himself. i dont want this thing breaking damnit!

so where was i. oh yea, santa is the shiz-nit - and also hella fuckin violent. ladies and gents, i present to you, santas xmas gift to logan this year:

it comes (as you can see) with the wall mount and i played with this thing in the store....its not gonna break anytime soon. now maybe when he gets to highschool and the wrong motherfucker screws with him and he bludgens some poor fuck to death - then, maybe then it will take some abuse. but until then i see it holding up for a while.

santa is fuckin cool - i mean, battle weapons! sharp ones at that! c'mon i got the shaft. hah shaft. i can remember as a kid watchin peter pan and then wanting to make some kinda dagger like he had and all i could come up with was some shitty cardboard thing. now kids get the real deal.

im jealous, i'll be honest. there was a full size sword in the store i wanted to get for myself but my fuckin wife talked me outta it. some bs about me not needing a sword and we should spend $130 on the kids.....i am a kid bitch! lemme have a goddamned sword! do i really need to make one of those windows 7 slideshow commercials outta this shit?

"reasons why nick needs this fuckin sword"

slide one: protection from intruders

slide two: for cuttin the shit outta the plants around the yard - aka pruning

slide three: stabbing shit just cause it fuckin rules with a heavy handled sword in your hand

slide four: because you love me

slide five: cause im probably gonna go buy that shit later tonight anyway

slide six: maybe ill get more than one and me and the guys can have real sword fights and not that gay shit we usually do

slide seven: guys with swords are sexy

slide eight: how the fuck are we gonna defend ourselves against logan when he's weilding the santa clause devil axe??

slide nine: stabbing shit, cause really, you should fuckin try it

slide ten: i already bought it, sorry i couldnt wait for an answer

santa isnt the only one who gets to have fun this year